


Old, But Not Familiar

by Steelbloom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hogwarts Era, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6744622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steelbloom/pseuds/Steelbloom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war had forced us all to change, of course; there was no avoiding it. But I was starting to think it was more drastic in some compared to others. Take Neville and myself, for example. I became brittle and Neville… well...</p><p>Hermione POV, OOC</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old, But Not Familiar

**Author's Note:**

> Very out of character. Please be kind. :)

The war had forced us all to change, of course; there was no avoiding it. But I was starting to think it was more drastic in some compared to others. Take me and Neville, for example. I became brittle and Neville… well...

“Are you _mad?_ ” The disbelief was in my voice, and I set the glass of butterbeer down on the bar a little more roughly than intended. A bit of the drink spilled over the top and slid down the sides, glistening in the light that poured in through the swinging front door. It was getting close to sunset and some of the dinner crowd were making it in, approaching the fireplace to dry up.

Neville fidgeted on the stool a bit, but there was a stubborn set to his jaw, a sight that I was still getting used to since stubborn was not something one normally attributed to Neville Longbottom. “I’m just going to ask her, Hermione. It’s not that big of a deal. They haven’t been together since... well... ” He hesitated and sighed, taking his napkin and wiping the glass I had set in front of him.

I couldn’t help frowning, knowing he was right... but then again this was Ginny; Harry’s _ex-girlfriend_ Ginny. Boys had been keeping well away from her since they'd begun dating in sixth year. Ginny had made it very clear that she was willing to wait for her hero, even though as far as I knew, nothing further had happened between them since they had broken up a few months before Harry took Voldemort out. I sighed, annoyed with the thought of them. It was like walking on eggshells at times, and I felt tense from seeing them tiptoe around each other. Ginny’s hurt feelings and pride wouldn’t let her approach Harry even if she wanted to. And Harry… I wasn’t sure about Harry, honestly and that was what had me on edge about this whole thing.

Yet here was Neville, a changed man since lopping the head off of Nagini, displaying that spirit that had impressed Voldemort, ready to possibly get in Harry’s bad graces by asking one of the few girls who’d been kind to him to the End of Term Dance that McGonagall had thought would be good for morale. I wondered briefly who had really been behind this dance idea as it seemed like a horrible one, but then I let out a silent breath and questioned if I was being pessimistic again.

I studied my friend, remembering a boy who had lost his toad that first train ride to Hogwarts and realized that I should really be following his lead when it came to moving on.

“Alright. I don’t take it back, but why now, Neville?” I leaned my elbows on the counter, smiling impudently at him. “Why not ask me?”

Neville reddened a bit but grinned right back. “Because I think Ron would be a lot more vocal about his displeasure, honestly.”

Smile fading, I looked up as Ron chose this precise moment to make his way into the Three Broomsticks.

“Oi, am I going to be glad to be done with exams,” he announced tiredly, flinging himself on the bar stool next to Neville. “Hullo Hermione,” he murmured, reaching forward to tug at one of my loose curls playfully. “Can I get one of those muggle soda pops, please? Let’s try orange this time.”

I forced myself to bring my smile back up, turning away from his blue gaze.  The nervousness that I had developed around him was still in me, but for entirely different reasons. I busied myself by reaching under the bar to get him a can; I had introduced sodas to Rosmerta, somehow pushing aside all the teachings of my dentist parents. Maybe this had been easier to do because of the way things were with my parents right now.  “I know you won’t ever see the reason I insisted Ron, but I am very proud of you for coming back with me and finishing your N.E.W.T.S. ”

“Hey, he wasn't the only one. Are you proud of me too, Hermione?”

The butterflies started again and I willed myself to push that down and grin confidently at Harry as he made his way over from the coat rack beside the front door; it was a cool and wet June day. He flanked Neville’s other side, a quiet smile of greeting on his face. Immediately, my eyes took in the shadows under his eyes, but I tucked this observation away for a future conversation. “Oh I don’t know Harry... recite the theory of transmutation as posited by Libatius Borage - let’s see how much _stuck_.”

The boys all groaned and I chuckled softly, looking up only when I heard the door to the kitchen open and Rosmerta peek her pretty head out. I bit back a smile at the way Ron straighten on his stool a fraction.

“Hermione, love, what red do think would go with the shepard’s pie--  oh, hello gentlemen. Keeping my best barmaid busy?”

“Bartender,” I muttered, irritated.

“I’ve been stealing her time, Madame Rosmerta, I hope you don’t mind too much,” Neville  admitted, speaking over me.

“Can’t say as I mind, but as soon as the dinner crowd comes, you bunch will have to make yourselves scarce. Hermione’s regulars might not like all this testosterone hovering.”

I snorted at that, “The regulars are frightened of me, Rosmerta.”

“Frightened?” Harry frowned.

Rosmerta smiled indulgently. “Our dear Hermione’s in denial. Your tips say differently, love. They wouldn’t come back if they were scared.”

“A fanclub then?” Harry grinned, his eyes bright.

I swatted his hand on the bar with a towel, embarrassed that I couldn't shut my boss up. I had noticed their stares, of course, but I figured it was because they wanted to see the ‘celebrity’ in person, the freak I had become.

I always wore long sleeves now.

“I do thank Merlin that one of the Golden Trio has been willing to work at my establishment; it’s bringing this place back to life,” Rosmerta murmured coming up behind me and squeezing my shoulder.

I was even more grateful to her for giving me the job when I sorely needed it. My parents were not in the picture at the moment and I needed some funds to survive my last year at Hogwarts. Harry had insisted that there was no need for me to get a job, that he had more galleons than he would _ever_ need ... but a part-time kept my mind occupied, made my body tired. A shift after classes would ensure dreamless sleep most nights. It’s not like I had Head Girl duties to attend to anyway.

“We’ll get out of your way, Hermione. Don’t want to mess with your tips,” Harry winked.

Yes, we had all changed somewhat, I realized, happy at Harry’s warm and positive growth.

“Coming Neville?” Ron asked as he pulled a couple of coins out of his pocket. But Neville wasn’t looking at Ron; his eyes were on Harry. Neville’s next words forced Ron to look up from picking the lint off his money.

“Sure mate, right after I’ve finished my conversation with Hermione. Hermione, can I have a word please?” And he pushed away from the bar, heading towards the far left near the massive fireplace that took almost half of the wall.

Piqued, I followed after, carefully setting the bar flap down, remembering my first shift here how it had slipped out of my grip and made me jump at the loud crack when it landed, my instincts reacting first, my wand out, my body crouched before I knew it. “Are you still going to go through with it?” I kept my voice low as I approached, crossing my arms as I turned to face him. Neville didn’t answer right away and instead stared at me for a while, until I felt my face grow hot under his gaze. “What?”

He finally smiled, leaning in close, his mouth nearly grazing my ear. Why had I never noticed how tall he’d gotten? “I am, but I’ve decided to make this easier on all of us. It’s almost end of term, and if I don’t do this now, while we’re all here and still seeing each other on a daily basis, this could take twenty more years between all of us.” And he confused me even more by kissing my cheek softly, near the corner of my mouth. He then grinned and turned on his heel, hands in his pockets as he headed out the door.

Ron stared after him in disbelief, before turning to me slowly and frowning in confusion. My face burned, but there was no response coming out of my mouth. He huffed in irritation before going after Neville, although I doubted he’d have much success getting answers from him when I was completely in the dark as to what the _hell_ he thought he was doing.

Flustered, I smoothed the short apron I wore around my waist and slowly returned to my post, wondering what Neville was getting at. 

“I’m guessing I’m not the only one you haven’t told about Neville, then?”

Vaguely noticing Rosmerta make a quick exit back to the kitchen, I looked at Harry. His gaze was on the towel I had left on the bar. I cleared my throat before beginning. “I’m not sure what there is to tell, honestly. He was talking about the dance but I _am_ a bit confused...”

Harry’s eyes flew to mine sharply, “He asked you to the dance?” 

“No, um,” I hesitated, not wanting to be the one to break the news about Neville’s plan to ask Ginny. I wasn’t sure how he’d react honestly, as our love lives - or lack thereof - were not something we ever comfortably talked about. Not anymore. Ginny brought out so many insecurities in me that I tried to shake off, but this was one of those topics I steered clear of when it came to her. This was a minefield for me, I could take one wrong step and feel like I’d violently lost my legs underneath me. I really couldn’t afford to go through that again. When I was overly cautious over Harry last year, I battled against Ginny somehow. I felt threatened by Ginny in a way I never had with Cho.

Although Ginny's involvement in Harry's life also clarified so many things for me... about the way I was reacting. Ultimately, it made me back away from Harry. And I drifted towards Ron.

As if reading my mind, Harry began speaking, using the towel to rub at a non-existent spot on the dark surface of the bar. “I thought we were going to head to the dance together... Us three, I mean. You know, I’ve never asked you how things have been going with Ron, but I haven’t seen you guys together so a part of me thought that things were back to normal.” His hand froze and his eyes widened, as did mine, at what he’d said before he hurriedly explained, “Not that you two dating is weird or anything. Uh, what I _meant_ was that I didn’t see you jump him again since last year and...” he glanced up and faltered when he saw me staring at him, the mortification that was burning through me undoubtedly visible. I wasn’t surprised Harry thought that of us, of Ron and I dating. It must have made him uncomfortable. Frankly so had his relationship with Ginny, for some of us. Ron hadn’t been thrilled at the idea, not the way Mrs. Weasley had been. 

He closed his eyes and sighed before thumping his forehead on the bartop. “Sorry.”

I laughed softly, endeared nonetheless. He looked up from his hands and gave me a sheepish smile, his gaze bright again. “I like it when you laugh, Hermione. It’s a sound I’ll never tire of. “ When he reached out and took my hand gently, I froze. “I know it’s been tough, especially the slow progression with your parents, but I’m sure they’ll get better. I’m sure they’ll remember you soon. And I know it’s probably hard for you with only Ron and I to talk to, I know we’re not sensitive types so I can understand how you could go for a bloke like Neville...” he hesitated, but then squeezed my hand. “I just want you to be happy.”

I felt so warm still, it must’ve shown on my face.

“I’ll leave you then. Let me know how things develop with Neville.” He grimaced slightly, stepped off his stool and slowly made his way out of the bar, hands in his pockets but not with the same spring in his step that Neville had left with. I noticed he forgot his jacket on the hook by the door and sighed, hoping Neville knew what he was doing.

 

* * *

 

I swept the floor by hand instead of magic because it brought a sense of comfort. The Three Broomsticks had closed twenty minutes before and I was just finishing up when Ron walked in again. Since I worked late and couldn’t Apparate into Hogwarts, one of the boys would usually come to walk me back. Tonight was not Ron’s usual night.

Whatever Neville had told him was not sitting well, it seemed. His red hair looked like he’d taken a nap or as if he’d been running his hands through it for the last few hours since I’d seen him. He slowly approached me and I couldn’t help but look at him worriedly. He stopped and plucked the broom out of my hands and set it aside so it fell against the bar and then proceeded to pull me into his arms.

“You know I love you, right?” he murmured against the top of my head, his grip tightening.

Completely floored, I nodded slowly, my arms caught between us, my hands on his chest. My palms were resting on his heartbeat and it was one of the most reassuring things in the world. Because Ron was familiar.

“You know that it’s also not right between us, right? But you’re the smartest witch in the history of the Hogwarts, so of course you know that,” he chuckled softly and it tickled a little, but I stayed quiet. This was new. Ron talking without me probing was new. And what he was saying made me nervous.

“When you kissed me, it was like the world stopped for me... I... Hermione, it was everything I wanted. I had messed up countless of times, but you kissed me... You kissed me, you forgave me, so it was all better in a way.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “But then, so much more happened. We lost Fred. We lost Lavender… we lost...” I wiggled in his arms until I got my arms free to hug him back, but he was pulling away, his hands on my arms, his eyes a little sad as he took me in. “And things were different. When Harry died, things changed between all of us.”

My heart broke a little, that he had known this the whole time even though we never spoke of it, all of us preoccupied with _everything_ else that had to be dealt with after the battle. Mourning the dead, funeral after funeral, rebuilding, my solo trip to Australia that had not been anywhere near as simple as I had hoped... In all that time, whatever spark Ron and I had had, however brief, was snuffed out. We never spoke of it, and a part of me, sadly, welcomed that. I was so confused... when Harry ‘died’, the chasm that swallowed me up was so deep and dark and consuming. How could I have been so blind?

Ron apparently wasn’t.

“Ron --”, but his kiss on my forehead silenced me once again.

“No need for words, Hermione. I’m not sure how things will turn out with Neville, or how you got over Harry the way you did, but I’m happy for you, nonetheless.” He shook his head a bit, a small smile on his face. “You know, he wouldn’t say a thing, that bastard. I drilled him, and all he would do is smile and say that if I wanted answers I should talk to you. Can you believe him? I’ve been going mad, trying to figure it out. But then I realized that all this behavior on my part is overprotectiveness, the same thing I do for Ginny.”

I marveled silently once again. Neville was a right bastard indeed.

“Come on, let’s go home. I’m sure Harry misses his jumper as well, although I’m not sure how Neville will take it if he sees you wearing it,” Ron continued, tugging on the hoodie that I had slipped into once the bar closed and the fire died out.

Shaking my head and still trying to digest the sudden turn in Ron’s attitude, I flicked my wand and the broom tucked itself away and the lights dimmed as Ron and I began heading back to Hogwarts.

 

* * *

 

“Has Ron lost his mind?” Ginny asked quietly as she slipped into the seat across from me at breakfast a couple of days later.

“Why?” I didn’t look up from buttering my toast, feeling tired from the constant tossing and turning the night before.

“He asked Luna to the dance.”

“Did he now?” Neville asked, joining the conversation, forcing my gaze up to watch him exchange “good mornings” with Ginny before he turned to me with a knowing smile and took the seat next to mine. He frowned a bit when he looked at my face. He reached out a hand and gently touched the skin underneath my eyes in concern.

“Alright, what’s going on with you two?” Ginny bit out, her eyes suspicious and I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for her. Things were changing around her and she was not in the loop; she hated being caught off guard.

Neville’s hand dropped, but not before Harry saw it. He approached behind Ginny, a small frown on his face as he took the seat next to her, not even bothering to say hello to any of us.

I took a quick swallow of the coffee before me, feeling it burn my tongue. “Harry, I have a shift tonight. Would you pick me up please?”

His eyes were different when they turned to me, “Of course, but I thought it was Ron’s turn?”

I smiled, lighthearted at the news, “He’s got a date tonight.” Ron had already apologized to me, but he couldn’t keep the pleased look off his face when he told me why. 

Harry’s eyebrows raised, but I also noticed how his eyes sharpened a little. “Luna?” 

“Yep.”

“Brilliant.”

“Wait, when did this happen? Hermione, aren’t you angry? Or hurt?” Ginny was not subtle anymore.

“Ginny.” It was Harry, a quiet rebuke next to her.

But I was honest. “I’m not angry. Or hurt. Luna’s great for him, I think.”

Ginny huffed and turned to her breakfast, stabbing a potato on her plate.

We all ate our breakfast in relative silence, my attention mostly on my second cup of coffee. At least it was the weekend tomorrow and there was no alarm clock to wake up to. 

“Ginny, you’ve got potions next?” Neville asked, pulling his napkin off his knee and folding it over his plate.

Ginny’s scowl turned into a surprised look. “Yes. Why?”

“Let me walk you,” Neville stated, getting up and looping both his schoolbag and hers over his shoulder.

Ginny still seemed surprised before standing up slowly. “I, um...” she glanced down at Harry, but Harry was sipping his tea silently, his gaze on the quidditch page of the paper. “Alright.”

Neville pointed his head towards the large double doors heading towards the halls and Ginny nodded and followed, staying next to him as he leaned down to chat with her softly.

I was truly in awe once again. But I was also tired and stretched raw emotionally. I wasn’t the only one either. I turned to Harry, trying to get a read on him from his dark head of hair that faced me. “Harry?”

“Yes Hermione?”

I reached out and touched his hand briefly, wishing he would look up. “Weather is supposed to be sunny this afternoon.”

“I could thaw a bit after Defense,” was the chipper response, although he didn’t glance up from the paper to look at me, even when I said goodbye.

 

* * *

 

My mother had gotten me a pair of pretty tortoiseshell sunglasses on my last trip with her and dad, and I pulled them out now, the large lenses providing wonderful cover whenever I felt too exposed. Or whenever the weather was wonderful like this. I slipped them on as I exited the castle. I had rolled my hair up into a full bun at the top of my head, spearing it with my pencil to keep it in place, a few curls escaping. The sun felt heavenly on my neck and face and I spread my arms, allowing my sleeves to roll down. For this moment, it didn’t matter; it was just me and a few students lazing around in groups but none close enough to bother with or who could glimpse my scars. I had nearly fallen asleep in Arithmancy and that was not something to be proud of, but the sun made me push that aside.

I knew where Harry would be; end of term meant Quidditch season was over and Harry had freedom to be on the pitch whenever he could get out here.  A  free period graced us both for the next hour.

When I finally neared, I couldn’t help the quiet sigh that escaped as I watched him from a distance, a little nervous of the height even though I had complete confidence in his flying ability when he wasn’t being cursed in mid-air. I knew what flying did for him and I wondered if it was similar to what I felt at this precise moment as I my eyes followed him...

 _Merlin_ , but I needed to stop thinking like that.

Frustrated, I turned instead and found a nice spot on the grass and spread my robes out, bringing my Arithmancy book out and using my perfectly bulging school bag as a pillow. I had my rolled up apron in there, positioned correctly and I could almost call it comfortable but I was afraid I’d drift off again otherwise. Fortunately, I got a good chunk of reading done, the occasional sound of laughter a comforting backdrop from a couple of other groups seated some distance away. I was able to reinforce what I had heard earlier in class even though I had struggled to focus, up until I heard Harry land and approach. And then my hair spilled down from its updo.

With a grin, Harry offered me the pencil as I brushed my hair back and glared up at him, muttering his name in annoyance.

“Sorry, I was just curious if you were able to keep it up with the pencil alone. Pretty cool.”

“The things that fascinate you,” I drawled before holding the pencil in my mouth as I used both hands to return my hair to the way it was. Except without a mirror… I dropped my hands and took the pencil out of my mouth in defeat. “Ugh.”

Harry plopped down next to me, still grinning, “I can try to tie it up for you.” 

I wondered if he could see the way my eyes bugged out behind my lenses. “Could you now...?” Where did this nervousness come from? This was Harry. Lifetime friend, travel companion in the great outdoors through our Horcrux hunt. Bunk buddy even.

But I’d been blind then. Or in very serious denial.

“Sure, let me see,” and he gently nudged me to turn my back to him, kneeling behind me. And then his fingers were at my temples, gentle as they brushed the hair back and my scalp tingled like mad, and I hoped to Merlin he would be nice enough to ignore the blush I felt rising from my neck up to my cheeks. With a few brushes, he had managed to pull it all together, but his fingers came back and brushed at the nape of my neck to try to comb down the unruliness and I felt like I could seriously pass out from his light touch on that area alone, the amount of activity this was causing in my body...

I was seriously in trouble here. 

But a part of me was too entranced to really worry about it and once he thought he had it right, he presented his hand out for the pencil and I couldn’t help the small laugh as I handed it to him and he pushed the pencil in gently, making sure not to catch my skin with the lead. It was looser and a bit more towards the crown of my head but I was proud nonetheless.

When I turned to thank him, I felt a swell in my chest and a bit of relief at the happy smile and blush that stained his face too. He settled himself down the same way I did, his robe spread out next to mine and then lay down, taking off his glasses and shielded his eyes with his arm, his head by my thigh. After a long moment of silence, when I thought he might actually be napping, he let out a sigh and asked quietly, “Hermione?”

“Yes Harry?” My head remained facing the book on my lap but my gaze stole to him quickly. His arm was still over his eyes.

He hesitated, but then, “Are you really ok about Ron?”

“Yes, I really am.” I removed my sunglasses to look at him clearly. “Can I tell you a secret?”

His smile appeared, a bit cheeky, “Well, I don’t know, Hermione, we’ve only known each other for almost half our lives...” 

I smiled too, at ease again. “I’m a little relieved.”

He turned his head a bit, revealing his eyes a for a moment and I noticed the slight lift in his eyebrows, the surprise at my confession. I wondered how much of me he could make out without his glasses. But it was brief and then he returned to covering his eyes. And then, eventually, “Me too.”

“Are you now? Tired of our bickering?” It came out teasing, pleased as I was with his response.

“Something like that.”

I laughed again and drank up the smile that bloomed on his face.

We enjoyed the silence for a while again, content. And then, “Hermione?”

“Yes Harry?” It was indulgent. 

“How serious is it with Neville?” It was lower, a bit more serious.

But my answer was breezy, the smile clear in my voice. “Non-existent Harry.”

His eyes again, but this time he sat up fully and put his glasses back on, facing me. “You’re going as friends?”

I braced myself and told him the truth, “He didn’t ask me Harry. He wants to ask Ginny.”

Harry frowned and blinked in confusion as he became pensive. Not exactly the reaction I’d been expecting, but that was the issue wasn’t it? Ginny used to bring a different reaction out of him and that had all but disappeared. Yet I had been waiting with baited breath for them to return to that, and I wasn’t sure how I would handle it now compared to how it had been before. I could count on one hand the times Harry and I stopped speaking to each other for an extended period of time; yes, there were times when we hadn’t seen eye to eye, but in the end, I always had his best interest in mind. But this was different. Ever since his trip back from the dead, I couldn’t read him the way I used to and a part of me believed that it was because of the feelings I realized I had when it came to Harry Potter. Because of the way I saw him now. Like how I wanted to lean in and press a kiss onto his slightly chapped lips, breathe in his windswept hair as I pressed myself into him.

His lips parted a tiny bit and that is when I realized I had been staring and my eyes flew to meet his, embarrassed that I had been caught. But his eyes had changed and I felt my heart rate increase. He leaned forward and his mouth was warm and heavy on mine and I slowly closed my eyes and sighed as softly as I possibly could, aware of my thundering heart. His kiss deepened, his hand reaching up to slide up through my hair at my neck again and I melted into it slowly.

This was happening! And this was different, too. It was… right. In a way no other first kiss had been. All I had ever felt before when I kissed someone for the first time was how unsure of it I was. _I’m sorry Viktor… Ron…_ But that quickly faded from my mind and everything else disappeared but his lips on mine.

After a few breathless moments, he pulled away and I watched him in wonder before my sunglasses slid down my head to land awkwardly on my nose. He let out a chuckle and I huffed in irritation, removing them completely. But I couldn’t really stop smiling under his gaze and he reached out for my fingers before asking. “Hermione, would you like to go to the dance with me?”

“Ah, no, sorry Harry.” His expression fell and I hastened to add “but can we go _anywhere_ else please?” 

He was unsure. “You don’t want to go?” 

I shook my head firmly and turned my hand so I could get a better angle at the skin of his palm. “I am not in a dance place in my life right now. All I would think about…” I trailed off, unable to finish but Harry knew what I felt, I could see it in him as he nodded.

But soon his expression brightened. “Let’s apparate to London, then… what do you think? We’re both licensed and of age…”

I smiled and wondered if he had ever tried sushi … with his relatives, I was pretty sure that was a no. Or what he thought of a night at the observatory, a picnic on the lawn. Or even something as normal as a movie; he might be delighted by those. “Yes please.”

This time I leaned forward and kissed him, and kept kissing him until I became lightheaded. I backed up, my lips parted in inhalation and he quickly took the opportunity give me an opened mouth kiss and my tongue immediately met his and so began my slow addiction to the taste of him. My body became hyper aware of him and my head upturned to his. This was Harry. Who tasted of chocolate and a hint of mint. Who somehow smelled of fresh mown grass.

I was going to have to thank Neville somehow.

 


End file.
